Too stressed out to study

adult blur books close up — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

My daughter, Rose is in the 12th grade now. She has plenty to study since she has to obtain good marks to get into a good college. She has been relentlessly working hard most of the time the past two years and has been under a lot of stress. Then last week she slowed down and is not in the mood to study at all.

I hate putting pressure on her. When she watches too much TV, if I say something or remind her of the time, she gets irritated. I suggested that she plan a schedule, but she said that a schedule means she has to stick to it and she does not want to. I am in a dilemma now since too much pressure will stress her out while leaving things as they are is not good.

Anyhow, I am trusting God to guide me to handle the situation. I have decided that if she needs a little more relaxation, I will let her have it. I know that God will guide her mind in the right way. I do not have the wisdom and intelligence required to handle the complicated moods and mindsets of an adolescent. God knows best.

Oslwald Chambers says that:

“We are apt to think that everything that happens to us is to be turned into useful teaching; it is to be turned into something better than teaching, viz. into character. We shall find that the spheres God brings us into are not meant to teach us something but to make us something.”

So this situation could be a way in which God is moulding my husband, me and Rose, setting our character in His way as He deems best. We could be developing our relationship in a better way as per His plan. He might also be giving Rose a break to prevent a breakdown.

He has answered our Prayers

accomplishment ceremony education graduation — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

My nephew Tom has not just passed his 10th grade Board exams, but has obtained really good marks and admission at a good school. This is really due to God’s Grace because he had not studied well last year, even failing in most of the previous school tests and exams during the year.

When we had discussions among family members as to what is best for Tom, my sister and I used to conclude by saying that God will take care of everything. My father used to comment that we should be practical, but this is proof that even in hopeless situations God will find a way for us.

In this context, there is another issue that comes up – the practicality of following all the teachings of Jesus. We argue that we should submit to God and let Him lead us through, but my father’s view point is that in today’s world, as humans, some of the teachings are not practical.

From my experience I can say that I always pray that God helps me keep His commands and live in His way. It is difficult, but I have noticed that He keeps me away from such situations, away from temptations.

I feel that if we have the heart and will to follow God, He will help us through. Why would Jesus give a command that He would not be able to enable us to fulfill? We are not to rely on ourselves, but on God’s power. Then He will make all things possible. The Spirit of God will manifest His power when we completely depend on God in our weakness.

unnamed

“For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God.” -1 PETER 4:17

Oswald Chambers said:

“We are not fundamentally free; external circumstances are not in our hands, they are in God’s hands, the one thing in which we are free is in our personal relationship to God. We are not responsible for the circumstances we are in, but we are responsible for the way we allow those circumstances to affect us; we can either allow them to get on top of us, or we can allow them to transform us into what God wants us to be.”

Finally, a solution for Tom

Good Things are going to happen

So finally, God has helped us through the dilemma. We have convinced Tom that he should study in India. He has accepted it though he is a bit broken-hearted.

Now, we are just waiting for his results and admission, confident that God will see it through.

“My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him.” – Psalm 62:5

We have learnt that faithfully putting our trust in God and believing that he will let the best happen for us as per his plan, is very effective.

Dr Norman Vincent Peale summarises positive expectancy as follows:

“One of the most serious and powerful facts in human nature is that you are likely to get what you are basically expecting. If you spend years developing the mental attitude of expecting that things are not going to turn out well, you are likely to get that result. You create a mental condition slanted to an unhappy outcome. If, on the contrary, you develop and maintain a mental attitude of faith and expectancy —hoping, dreaming, believing, praying, working—you will create conditions in which every good thing can and will grow. Fill your mind with the positive power of spiritual expectancy and God and His good will flow toward you.”

On Saturday we went with Tom to Happy Land, a water theme park. The kids had a wonderful time playing in the water. Tom and my daughter spent a long time just floating around in the water. It was a very peaceful and tranquil scene. It gives me a sense of the peace that God gives us when we cast our burdens on Him.

Good Times with Family

Family_eating_meal

Had a great time with my sister and kids. We stayed at my father’s place for two days. Talked, ate, laughed, enjoyed…

My daughter and my niece had just a 3 days’ break at the right time. So the cousins had a lot of bonding time together with Tom.

Back to Tom, who has been our concern. With God’s Grace, my father was able to advise Tom on the pros and cons of staying in India and staying in Kuwait. By yesterday, he almost consented to studying in India.

We have been praying that God guides him in the right way. We thank God that we were able to say the right things to him.

We are planning to apply for his admission in an Indian school today. Praying with positive faith that all things will work out for his best.

“The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.” – Luke 18:27

Changing Tom’s mind for his good seemed like an impossible task. I would like to share how we can tune our minds to pray and believe that impossible tasks are possible. The following nugget of wisdom from Norman Vincent Peele explains it clearly.

Impossible to possible

“Here’s how to do an “impossible” thing: Size up your problem, pray about it, do all you can about it. If it seems impossible, don’t give up but affirm: “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.” Keep relaxed. Don’t worry. Avoid getting panicky. Never think, “This can’t be done.” Declare “it can be done, it is being done because God is doing it through me.” Affirm that the process is in motion. The final outcome may not be entirely what you now desire. But, handled in this manner, the solution will be what God wants it to be.”

I hope you find this helpful if you have any moments of despair or hopelessness.

What shall we do about Tom?

light sunset people water — Photo by Negative Space on Pexels.com

Tom’s last exam was over yesterday. He came home with a sense of relief which was short-lived. His father shouted and insulted him. Tom’s leaving on a trip to India today with his mother. He is sad and hurt, preparing to leave his father with a resentful attitude.

For the last 2 years, Tom hasn’t been studying well. This year he did not work hard for his final high school exams and his parents are worried if he will even pass his exams.

He is a very intelligent child, but his father’s attitude of picking at everything he did made him defensive especially in his adolescence. Now he is 16 years old. He prefers to play outside all day with friends who listen to him. These very friends are bad influences on him advising him to talk back to his father.

His parents have no idea how to handle him. His father loves him a lot, but cannot stop himself from being rude. He is mentally upset seeing his beloved son wasting his life. He is worried about Tom’s future.

Instead of being wise and patient, Tom’s father is losing control of his temper and his words, making things worse for Tom and his mother.

Tom’s mother has submitted the situation to God and with His strength, is trying to keep her family together. She is bearing the brunt of both her husband’s and son’s frustration and anger, but is doing her best to be patient and understanding.

God has entrusted our children to us to nurture and bring them up in His way. We should be able to manage and guide them correctly considering their age, emotions and well-being. Too much freedom or too many restrictions could have adverse results.

I am really worried about Tom and also about my child. Are we good parents? Are we doing the right thing? Are we bringing up our children as God would like us to?

I have entrusted Tom and my daughter into God’s hands to guide them in the right path and to guide us in the right way to bring them up. I am sure that with a positive attitude and encouragement, we can direct Tom’s mind to move in the direction that God has planned for him.

Tom will be reaching India tomorrow with his mother, who is my sister. His sister is also here. My daughter also cares a lot for him. My father is the wisest and we are looking up to him for a solution. We plan to give Tom love, patience and faith to encourage him to change for the better.

We look forward to a successful transition for him and his family. The three steps that we plan to follow are:

Encouraging Tom and his parents to let go of the old ways and routine
Getting them safely through the transition phase to the new way
A new beginning where the family can discover new identities, new habits and, hopefully, a new sense of purpose and energy (We plan to advise Tom to move to India from Kuwait for an effective new start.)

We shall persevere in prayer knowing that Jesus is the Lord of possibilities when we are faced with situations that seem impossible.